hoploamory

hoploamory – (n.) a pathological love for weapons and weaponry at the expense of respect for other human beings or their safety

From the Neo-Latin “hoplo-” meaning armor, weapons, or tools, derived itself from the Greek “hoplon” with the same meaning (those familiar with Greek or military history should be thinking of “hoplites” here), and the Latin “-amory” suffix meaning “to be romantically involved with or attached to,” as in “polyamory.”

To practice hoploamory, in the intended contemporary context (which I’m allowed to define since I just invented the word, so there!), is to ignore the major trauma and damage being inflicted every day on our nation by our refusal to let go of our guns and all of the bad, half-baked, toxic ideas that surround them, and instead choose to embrace the bad, half-baked, toxic ideas.

You’ve seen the hoploamorous in action, guaranteed. These are the folks who have to flood every comment thread after a mass shooting with NRA-sponsored banalities like “guns don’t kill people, people do!” and “the first thing the Nazis did was take the guns!” (which incidentally is demonstrably bullshit.) The people who insist that their need to wear a high-powered rifle to the local grocery store isn’t a manifestation of their abject fear of basically everything, and their own abject cowardice in facing that fear, are hoploamorous. The “last line of defense” guys in camouflage gear who apparently have never heard of an F-15? Those are hoplophiles.

This is to be carefully distinguished from the much smaller group of firearm collectors and aficionados who appreciate the art of the engineering involved or what have you, and from those actively enlisted in the military. (The absence of “the police” on that list is intentional.) The difference between the two is precisely the same as the difference between a numismatist and a trust-fund billionaire who can never have enough money regardless of who gets hurt in the process of acquiring it.