Tag: confederacy

  • It’s Time To End Confederate Flag Worship

    Over the years much has been written in defense of waving and displaying the “Confederate Flag.” We’ll forego the silly pedantic arguments about what the “Stars and Bars” really flew over, and all that nonsense – it’s diversionary argumentation without relevant meaning to the core questions we’ll address here.

    Back in 2019, the city of Wake Forest, NC, had to cancel their annual Christmas parade because they intended to allow a float from a group called the Sons and Daughters Of The Confederacy. In response, several people indicated plans to protest and potentially even incite violence, so the city decided to cancel the parade.

    This generated all the hand-wringing outrage you might expect, and of course brought to the forefront this old, tired argument about southern pride and so forth.

    In the intervening period, we’ve had the violent coup attempt in Washington where multiple violent traitors paraded through the halls of Congress…carrying the Confederate flag. States have passed resolutions to stop flying it on government grounds, along with significant effort to remove statues of Confederate “heroes,” rename public facilities named in honor of traitors, and so forth.

    Naturally all of this has the “Southern Pride” and “Heritage Not Hate” contingent – who, let’s be clear, have never been anything but bad-faith goobers making arguments the know have no merit – to raising all manner of hew and cry declaiming these actions

    These arguments tend to break down into three key points: My family was involved and I have a right to be proud of my family; the soldiers of the Confederacy fought valiantly for their cause and deserve to be honored and respected for that; you’re trying to “erase history” by interfering with my celebration of the Confederacy.

    So let’s go ahead and address these one by one, shall we?

    Family Pride

    I understand the idea of family pride and heritage. Often these things are very positive; I’m quite proud of my family history on my dad’s side working against the Nazi’s in the Netherlands during WWII, for example

    In this case, the agrument simply doesn’t hold up, and I reject it.

    The Confederacy was a collective act of treason against the United States, an attempt at creating a breakaway republic predicated on the idea that owning other people was a negotiable and acceptable proposition, and they prosecuted a war to defend that position with all the costs that entails.

    Fortunately for conscience and decency in the world, they lost and the “state’s right” to decide that some human beings weren’t human was denied in this ostensibly free country once and for all, as it should have been from the outset.

    However, as we’re seeing play out once again perhaps as a direct result of our reluctance to address this issue head-on in the first place, the simple fact of the matter is you don’t celebrate traitors. There are no flags of the third reich flying in German. The people of Romania don’t celebrate the heritage of Ceaușescu. Lithuania does not celebrate the “heritage” of the Polish government who tried to overthrow them. Germans do not honor the “heritage” of the Beer Hall Putsch. The city of Milwaukee doesn’t have a “Jeffrey Dahmer Culinary Appreciation Day.” The state of Illinois has not named its high school mentoring program for boys after John Wayne Gacy.

    In my family there is a tragic incident in which a woman and her boyfriend murdered their four year old daughter in the early 1980s. If I were to apply the “family pride” argument, rather than taking punitive measures against her because she did a horrible, unforgivable thing that cause an innocent life to be lost…I would say let’s have a Christmas parade float for all the infanticide perpetrators! I mean, I know it’s not really cool and all, of course it used to happen more often but we’re a better people now, but she’s family so I have an emotional attachment and my ego’s involved. Not only that, although it’s less common than it used to be people say things like “If those kids don’t stop raising cain I’ll kill ’em” all the time, so it’s pretty clear some people – quite a few of them – are perfectly okay with the idea of murdering children. I bet if you’ve got kids you’ve said it yourself! “If they don’t stop that racket I’ll kill ’em!”

    So you’ll just be okay with that, right? Even though some of you may have lost children to violence yourselves and even the suggestion is so outrageous as to deserve nothing more than a punch in the mouth…I mean, let’s be civil. Don’t be rude. Don’t be impolite. Can’t we have some unity here? It’s the Christmas season, where’s your holiday spirit? Where’s that forgiveness and all-encompassing Christian love we like to talk about so much this time of year? Let the baby murderers in. Heck, Susan Smith gets out right before Thanksgiving in a couple years, maybe we can get her to be Marshall!

    Right. That’s how every single person who defends confederate flag worship sounds to anyone who was not born and raised in the south. The only people I’ve ever met outside the “Old South” who parrot the point of view on the confederacy I hear as the mainstream there (at least outside the major cities) are open white supremacists.

    Nobody else, outside of that region of the country where it’s taught as gospel, buys in to the romanticism and whitewashing that’s been brought to the history of the Confederacy since its fall. And yes, I’ve seen a fair part of it and talked to a whole lot of people in my time, including time spent in community non-profit work right there in Wake Forest, North Carolina not that many moons ago.

    So that addresses this whole “my daddy fought hard for the south and that was honorable” thing. The cause wasn’t honorable, nor was fighting for it. AT BEST many uneducated people motivated by a firm conviction that some human beings should rightly be considered property *believed* they were fighting for an honorable cause, and so one must allow a sort of grudging subjective “honor” to attach in the sense of following and fighting for your beliefs, but c’mon. The most honorable position in the Confederate military was serving as a patsy to oligarchs; at least in that role you could disingenuously plead ignorance, and that’s the best argument to be made. There’s no honor or glory in stupidity.

    That brings us to…

    The Valiant And Honorable Sacrifice

    Pol Pot’s soldiers fought valiantly for a cause. So did Stalin’s, and Hitler’s, and Tojo’s, and Minh’s, and Mao’s, and Mussolini’s, and bin Laden’s. Back in 2001 19 men from the middle east made a “valiantly and honorably” sacriviced their lives for the cause they believed was just and righteous.

    Sure, YOU might not think so, because they’re the Bad Guys, but THEY sure thought so. They died to prove it, didn’t they? Just like your great-grandpappy at Second Bull Run.

    Pictured: The ultimate participation trophy, symbol of losers since 1865 (far left of the image), shows up at another lost cause: the January 6, 2021 attempt to overthrow the US Government by violent coup in Washington DC at the behest of President Donald Trump

    Fighting valiantly for a cause means less than nothing until you know what the cause is. If I die fighting valiantly for the cause of my asserted right to have sexual congress with ducks, I sure hope you don’t use that as a reason to give me a parade float and I would reasonably expect the ducks to be pretty angry if you did.

    I want to stress again that none of this is personal. There’s not some individual or group whose feelings I’m trying to hurt here. We’ve evolved now, that’s all. We don’t sacrifice virgins anymore either, and we don’t really have parade floats honoring The Great Virgin Sacrificers (sic) of History either.

    And history brings us to that last Great Pillar Of Confederate Apologia

    Erasing History

    This is frankly nothing but cheap gaslighting. Maniplative bad-faith argumentation constructed of the highest-quality bovine excreta.

    Erasing history is talking about “states’ rights” and leaving out what specific right was at issue – the right to own human beings based on the color of their skin.

    “Erasing history” is bandying about phrases like the “War of Northern Aggression,” which I was still hearing unironically when my daughter was attending a rural North Carolina high school, just about fifteen miles up the road from Wake Forest, in the oughts…and I was hearing it from her teachers.

    Erasing history what happens when you STILL get dirty looks in Granville County, NC if you ask an old-timer (or most of their descendants) about why Bob Teel and his boys never did time for killing Dickie Marrow.

    (Sidebar for those who don’t understand this reference: Dickie Marrow was a black veteran who was beaten and shot in Oxford, North Carolina (where my parents lived for the last twenty years or so of their lives) by two white bigots who claimed he said something untoward to a white woman. The white attackers were exonerated by an all-white jury at trial.

    In 1970.

    This event catalyzed the activist career of Benjamin Chavis, who eventually led a fifty-mile march from Oxford to Raleigh in protest. Chavis eventually became head of the NAACP, I believe.

    To this day, you’ll get the kind of look that will encourage you to be out of town by sunset if you ask the wrong people the wrong questions about this event. The book about the event, “Blood Done Sign My Name,” (disclosure: affiliate link) is routinely stolen or vandalized at the Oxford, NC Public Library to this day.)

    THAT is “erasing history,” Orwell style.

    In the end, I’ve had and seen this basic conversation a million times. I’m not particularly passionate about it because honestly I think it’s a settled issue and anyone who continues to act as though there’s really anything to debate about it is likely kind of dull-witted, usually motivated by emotion and ego, and often motivated by uglier things – no accusation against you personally intended, of course, dear reader.

    I’ve no deep interest in hating on people or whatever, this isn’t some “you dumb hicks” rant. I lived in NC for 15 years, met and continue to maintain deep friendship with and great respect for many fine people there. Some of them even maintain this confederate pride attitude, and I don’t fault them for it. I get it, my dad was a marine, I understand that pride.

    But it’s time to accept reality.

    Continuing to celebrate the Confederacy as though it were a noble cause, as though the “sacrifices” made in the name of keeping human beings enslaved were “valiant,” or as though there’s any reasonable basis for exalting and celebrating those who served the failed and unethical cause of slavery with their lives as though they’re heroes for doing it, just doesn’t hold up to reasoned scrutiny anymore.

    Those people weren’t heroes for fighting on the side of the losing team.

    I’m sorry, they’re not.

    The cause of the confederacy was not noble, the fight was not valiant, and the fighters were not heroes. They were at best useful idiots, and at worst seething, treasonous, bigots willing to die for the “right” to treat other human beings as property.

    I was born in 1970 and grew up in a world where the Confederate flag was still honored and adored as a symbol of rebellion, of raging against the machine, of refusing to back down in the face of authoritarianism. Over time we’ve come to understand these arguments simply have no merit. The idea that “fighting for my country is noble and good even if what my country is doing is horrific and unconscionable” was much more prevalent then and you can see how this perspective took hold in the south after their defeat, but now?

    No.

    That’s the 19th century, man. This is the 21st.

    Blind fealty to a geography because your g’g’granpappy originally cleared the land, I can even understand.

    But loyalty to or pride in the cause and prosecution of the Confederate States and their open act of treason against the United States, just because you had family fighting on that side, and many of those fighting for “the lost cause” lost their lives?

    No.

    We think more clearly than that now, at least those of us who can separate our ethics from our egos. If I suggested you should allow a Nazi parade float because there may be post-WWII German immigrants whose ancestors “fought valiantly for their cause,” you’d likely never stop smacking me in the mouth, and rightly so.

    And that’s how pretty much everyone outside the south who isn’t part of some alt right movement feels about confederate parade floats.

    It’s time to burn those stars and bars and throw ’em in the trash like we should’ve in 1865, and have done with this ridiculous argument.

  • Support Historical Statues (Fundraiser)

    In light of recent events, all the protesting and complaining about the removal of confederate-themed statuary from various US cities has convinced me that the statue defenders are right.  It’s just plain wrong for a bunch of hand-wringing, pearl-clutching liberal pantywaists to try to remove our glorious history by destroying monuments to a breakaway republic that attempted to destroy the United States in the name of owning people.

    How could anyone possibly be expected to remember the glorious and noble battle to own black people if we don’t have statues of random traitors scattered about our cities?  Why, pretty soon they’ll be tearing down statues of Christopher Columbus and we’ll forget he discovered our beautiful country!  (*He didn’t.  He never set foot in what became the continental United States.  He was also an incredible dick.  And there were plenty of people here when he got here, as the Vikings almost certainly found out five hundred years before Columbus did.)

    So with that in mind, I’ve decided to start a campaign to place this statue of Osama bin Laden in the 200 largest cities in the United States!  Sure, some people might think we’re glorifying a radical terrorist who killed thousands of Americans in an attempt to end the United States – just like those goofy Antifa liberals think that’s what we’re doing with confederate statues – but REAL AMERICANS know the truth:  if we don’t put these statues up, pretty soon people are going to forget all about 9-11 and IT WILL HAPPEN AGAIN!

    TRUE PATRIOTS JOIN NOW!  For your contribution over five hundred dollars, we will inscribe YOUR NAME as a TRUE AMERICAN PATRIOT at the bottom of a statue in the city you select, from the list below:

    New York New York 8,323,340
    2 Los Angeles California 4,015,940
    3 Chicago Illinois 2,694,240
    4 Houston Texas 2,340,890
    5 Phoenix Arizona 1,703,080
    6 Philadelphia Pennsylvania 1,591,800
    7 San Antonio Texas 1,578,030
    8 San Diego California 1,447,100
    9 Dallas Texas 1,382,270
    10 San Jose California 1,033,670
    11 Austin Texas 988,218
    12 Fort Worth Texas 932,116
    13 Jacksonville Florida 926,371
    14 Columbus Ohio 922,223
    15 Charlotte North Carolina 905,318
    16 San Francisco California 896,047
    17 Indianapolis Indiana 875,929
    18 Seattle Washington 783,137
    19 Denver Colorado 734,134
    20 Washington District of Columbia 720,687
    21 Boston Massachusetts 710,195
    22 El Paso Texas 685,575
    23 Nashville Tennessee 673,167
    24 Detroit Michigan 667,272
    25 Portland Oregon 664,103
    26 Las Vegas Nevada 662,000
    27 Oklahoma City Oklahoma 655,407
    28 Memphis Tennessee 647,374
    29 Louisville Kentucky 624,890
    30 Baltimore Maryland 590,479
    31 Milwaukee Wisconsin 585,589
    32 Albuquerque New Mexico 561,188
    33 Tucson Arizona 553,871
    34 Fresno California 538,195
    35 Mesa Arizona 527,666
    36 Atlanta Georgia 523,738
    37 Sacramento California 521,769
    38 Kansas City Missouri 505,198
    39 Miami Florida 486,388
    40 Colorado Springs Colorado 485,946
    41 Raleigh North Carolina 481,958
    42 Omaha Nebraska 470,702
    43 Long Beach California 463,218
    44 Virginia Beach Virginia 447,841
    45 Minneapolis Minnesota 437,069
    46 Oakland California 435,224
    47 Tampa Florida 413,704
    48 Arlington Texas 402,762
    49 Tulsa Oklahoma 396,543
    50 Bakersfield California 390,233
    51 New Orleans Louisiana 390,128
    52 Wichita Kansas 388,771
    53 Aurora Colorado 382,742
    54 Cleveland Ohio 379,233
    55 Anaheim California 352,911
    56 Honolulu Hawaii 342,933
    57 Riverside California 336,285
    58 San Juan Puerto Rico 331,165
    59 Santa Ana California 330,389
    60 Henderson Nevada 330,084
    61 Lexington Kentucky 328,690
    62 Corpus Christi Texas 325,406
    63 Stockton California 316,996
    64 St. Paul Minnesota 311,895
    65 Cincinnati Ohio 306,487
    66 Irvine California 303,956
    67 Greensboro North Carolina 299,946
    68 Pittsburgh Pennsylvania 294,860
    69 Lincoln Nebraska 293,905
    70 St. Louis Missouri 293,792
    71 Orlando Florida 291,739
    72 Plano Texas 288,539
    73 Anchorage Alaska 285,634
    74 Newark New Jersey 282,862
    75 Durham North Carolina 282,737
    76 Chula Vista California 277,289
    77 St. Petersburg Florida 271,842
    78 Jersey City New Jersey 271,099
    79 Fort Wayne Indiana 270,989
    80 Toledo Ohio 270,651
    81 Chandler Arizona 268,675
    82 Laredo Texas 264,703
    83 Madison Wisconsin 264,030
    84 Scottsdale Arizona 262,222
    85 Lubbock Texas 260,823
    86 Reno Nevada 260,258
    87 Gilbert Arizona 258,935
    88 Buffalo New York 255,244
    89 Glendale Arizona 254,500
    90 North Las Vegas Nevada 253,923
    91 Winston-Salem North Carolina 251,762
    92 Chesapeake Virginia 248,106
    93 Garland Texas 246,627
    94 Irving Texas 243,738
    95 Hialeah Florida 243,208
    96 Norfolk Virginia 242,234
    97 Fremont California 239,525
    98 Boise Idaho 234,576
    99 Paradise Nevada 233,689
    100 Richmond Virginia 232,055
    101 Arlington Virginia 231,803
    102 Spokane Washington 223,266
    103 Tacoma Washington 222,603
    104 Modesto California 218,758
    105 Fontana California 218,573
    106 Des Moines Iowa 217,891
    107 San Bernardino California 217,671
    108 Baton Rouge Louisiana 216,701
    109 Frisco Texas 215,060
    110 Salt Lake City Utah 213,367
    111 Moreno Valley California 212,992
    112 Oxnard California 212,715
    113 Santa Clarita California 210,543
    114 Birmingham Alabama 208,940
    115 McKinney Texas 208,487
    116 Port St. Lucie Florida 206,410
    117 Fayetteville North Carolina 205,646
    118 Grand Rapids Michigan 205,289
    119 Glendale California 204,765
    120 Rochester New York 203,792
    121 Huntsville Alabama 202,910
    122 Amarillo Texas 202,028
    123 Huntington Beach California 201,941
    124 Spring Valley Nevada 199,722
    125 Cape Coral Florida 199,503
    126 Tallahassee Florida 199,205
    127 Yonkers New York 199,021
    128 Aurora Illinois 198,870
    129 Grand Prairie Texas 198,442
    130 Akron Ohio 198,148
    131 Little Rock Arkansas 197,371
    132 Montgomery Alabama 197,282
    133 Overland Park Kansas 196,636
    134 Augusta Georgia 196,303
    135 Tempe Arizona 194,218
    136 Sunrise Manor Nevada 192,934
    137 Knoxville Tennessee 191,060
    138 Sioux Falls South Dakota 190,519
    139 Columbus Georgia 189,296
    140 Mobile Alabama 186,804
    141 Ontario California 186,653
    142 Vancouver Washington 186,516
    143 Worcester Massachusetts 186,433
    144 Fort Lauderdale Florida 184,599
    145 Chattanooga Tennessee 184,143
    146 Shreveport Louisiana 183,819
    147 Brownsville Texas 183,748
    148 Peoria Arizona 180,219
    149 Rancho Cucamonga California 180,031
    150 Salem Oregon 179,944
    151 Providence Rhode Island 178,901
    152 Eugene Oregon 178,329
    153 Elk Grove California 177,406
    154 Santa Rosa California 177,132
    155 Newport News Virginia 177,064
    156 Pembroke Pines Florida 177,058
    157 Oceanside California 176,950
    158 Cary North Carolina 175,102
    159 Fort Collins Colorado 172,862
    160 Corona California 171,213
    161 Garden Grove California 170,328
    162 Springfield Missouri 169,552
    163 Alexandria Virginia 165,748
    164 Bayamon Puerto Rico 165,383
    165 Clarksville Tennessee 164,496
    166 Enterprise Nevada 164,314
    167 Hayward California 161,314
    168 Jackson Mississippi 160,080
    169 Lakewood Colorado 158,660
    170 Lancaster California 158,627
    171 Hollywood Florida 158,239
    172 Palmdale California 156,299
    173 Salinas California 155,619
    174 Springfield Massachusetts 155,472
    175 Bellevue Washington 154,647
    176 Killeen Texas 153,973
    177 Kansas City Kansas 153,600
    178 Macon County Georgia 152,519
    179 Sunnyvale California 152,427
    180 Pomona California 152,405
    181 Escondido California 152,245
    182 Pasadena Texas 151,891
    183 Murfreesboro Tennessee 151,066
    184 Naperville Illinois 149,196
    185 Joliet Illinois 148,227
    186 Paterson New Jersey 145,871
    187 Savannah Georgia 145,754
    188 Rockford Illinois 145,020
    189 Midland Texas 145,012
    190 McAllen Texas 144,279
    191 Waco Texas 144,015
    192 Roseville California 143,921
    193 Torrance California 143,912
    194 Thornton Colorado 143,890
    195 Metairie Louisiana 143,481
    196 Miramar Florida 143,219
    197 Bridgeport Connecticut 143,010
    198 Olathe Kansas 142,841
    199 Denton Texas 142,173
    200 Surprise Arizona 142,049

    Act now, we’re limited to only five inscriptions per city!

    (Disclaimer.  This is obviously a joke at the expense of idiots.  However if you would like to contribute to keeping me in a position to continue creating new work, you can find out more about how to do so here.  Thanks!)