Support Historical Statues (Fundraiser)

In light of recent events, all the protesting and complaining about the removal of confederate-themed statuary from various US cities has convinced me that the statue defenders are right.  It’s just plain wrong for a bunch of hand-wringing, pearl-clutching liberal pantywaists to try to remove our glorious history by destroying monuments to a breakaway republic that attempted to destroy the United States in the name of owning people.

How could anyone possibly be expected to remember the glorious and noble battle to own black people if we don’t have statues of random traitors scattered about our cities?  Why, pretty soon they’ll be tearing down statues of Christopher Columbus and we’ll forget he discovered our beautiful country!  (*He didn’t.  He never set foot in what became the continental United States.  He was also an incredible dick.  And there were plenty of people here when he got here, as the Vikings almost certainly found out five hundred years before Columbus did.)

So with that in mind, I’ve decided to start a campaign to place this statue of Osama bin Laden in the 200 largest cities in the United States!  Sure, some people might think we’re glorifying a radical terrorist who killed thousands of Americans in an attempt to end the United States – just like those goofy Antifa liberals think that’s what we’re doing with confederate statues – but REAL AMERICANS know the truth:  if we don’t put these statues up, pretty soon people are going to forget all about 9-11 and IT WILL HAPPEN AGAIN!

TRUE PATRIOTS JOIN NOW!  For your contribution over five hundred dollars, we will inscribe YOUR NAME as a TRUE AMERICAN PATRIOT at the bottom of a statue in the city you select, from the list below:

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New York New York 8,323,340
2 Los Angeles California 4,015,940
3 Chicago Illinois 2,694,240
4 Houston Texas 2,340,890
5 Phoenix Arizona 1,703,080
6 Philadelphia Pennsylvania 1,591,800
7 San Antonio Texas 1,578,030
8 San Diego California 1,447,100
9 Dallas Texas 1,382,270
10 San Jose California 1,033,670
11 Austin Texas 988,218
12 Fort Worth Texas 932,116
13 Jacksonville Florida 926,371
14 Columbus Ohio 922,223
15 Charlotte North Carolina 905,318
16 San Francisco California 896,047
17 Indianapolis Indiana 875,929
18 Seattle Washington 783,137
19 Denver Colorado 734,134
20 Washington District of Columbia 720,687
21 Boston Massachusetts 710,195
22 El Paso Texas 685,575
23 Nashville Tennessee 673,167
24 Detroit Michigan 667,272
25 Portland Oregon 664,103
26 Las Vegas Nevada 662,000
27 Oklahoma City Oklahoma 655,407
28 Memphis Tennessee 647,374
29 Louisville Kentucky 624,890
30 Baltimore Maryland 590,479
31 Milwaukee Wisconsin 585,589
32 Albuquerque New Mexico 561,188
33 Tucson Arizona 553,871
34 Fresno California 538,195
35 Mesa Arizona 527,666
36 Atlanta Georgia 523,738
37 Sacramento California 521,769
38 Kansas City Missouri 505,198
39 Miami Florida 486,388
40 Colorado Springs Colorado 485,946
41 Raleigh North Carolina 481,958
42 Omaha Nebraska 470,702
43 Long Beach California 463,218
44 Virginia Beach Virginia 447,841
45 Minneapolis Minnesota 437,069
46 Oakland California 435,224
47 Tampa Florida 413,704
48 Arlington Texas 402,762
49 Tulsa Oklahoma 396,543
50 Bakersfield California 390,233
51 New Orleans Louisiana 390,128
52 Wichita Kansas 388,771
53 Aurora Colorado 382,742
54 Cleveland Ohio 379,233
55 Anaheim California 352,911
56 Honolulu Hawaii 342,933
57 Riverside California 336,285
58 San Juan Puerto Rico 331,165
59 Santa Ana California 330,389
60 Henderson Nevada 330,084
61 Lexington Kentucky 328,690
62 Corpus Christi Texas 325,406
63 Stockton California 316,996
64 St. Paul Minnesota 311,895
65 Cincinnati Ohio 306,487
66 Irvine California 303,956
67 Greensboro North Carolina 299,946
68 Pittsburgh Pennsylvania 294,860
69 Lincoln Nebraska 293,905
70 St. Louis Missouri 293,792
71 Orlando Florida 291,739
72 Plano Texas 288,539
73 Anchorage Alaska 285,634
74 Newark New Jersey 282,862
75 Durham North Carolina 282,737
76 Chula Vista California 277,289
77 St. Petersburg Florida 271,842
78 Jersey City New Jersey 271,099
79 Fort Wayne Indiana 270,989
80 Toledo Ohio 270,651
81 Chandler Arizona 268,675
82 Laredo Texas 264,703
83 Madison Wisconsin 264,030
84 Scottsdale Arizona 262,222
85 Lubbock Texas 260,823
86 Reno Nevada 260,258
87 Gilbert Arizona 258,935
88 Buffalo New York 255,244
89 Glendale Arizona 254,500
90 North Las Vegas Nevada 253,923
91 Winston-Salem North Carolina 251,762
92 Chesapeake Virginia 248,106
93 Garland Texas 246,627
94 Irving Texas 243,738
95 Hialeah Florida 243,208
96 Norfolk Virginia 242,234
97 Fremont California 239,525
98 Boise Idaho 234,576
99 Paradise Nevada 233,689
100 Richmond Virginia 232,055
101 Arlington Virginia 231,803
102 Spokane Washington 223,266
103 Tacoma Washington 222,603
104 Modesto California 218,758
105 Fontana California 218,573
106 Des Moines Iowa 217,891
107 San Bernardino California 217,671
108 Baton Rouge Louisiana 216,701
109 Frisco Texas 215,060
110 Salt Lake City Utah 213,367
111 Moreno Valley California 212,992
112 Oxnard California 212,715
113 Santa Clarita California 210,543
114 Birmingham Alabama 208,940
115 McKinney Texas 208,487
116 Port St. Lucie Florida 206,410
117 Fayetteville North Carolina 205,646
118 Grand Rapids Michigan 205,289
119 Glendale California 204,765
120 Rochester New York 203,792
121 Huntsville Alabama 202,910
122 Amarillo Texas 202,028
123 Huntington Beach California 201,941
124 Spring Valley Nevada 199,722
125 Cape Coral Florida 199,503
126 Tallahassee Florida 199,205
127 Yonkers New York 199,021
128 Aurora Illinois 198,870
129 Grand Prairie Texas 198,442
130 Akron Ohio 198,148
131 Little Rock Arkansas 197,371
132 Montgomery Alabama 197,282
133 Overland Park Kansas 196,636
134 Augusta Georgia 196,303
135 Tempe Arizona 194,218
136 Sunrise Manor Nevada 192,934
137 Knoxville Tennessee 191,060
138 Sioux Falls South Dakota 190,519
139 Columbus Georgia 189,296
140 Mobile Alabama 186,804
141 Ontario California 186,653
142 Vancouver Washington 186,516
143 Worcester Massachusetts 186,433
144 Fort Lauderdale Florida 184,599
145 Chattanooga Tennessee 184,143
146 Shreveport Louisiana 183,819
147 Brownsville Texas 183,748
148 Peoria Arizona 180,219
149 Rancho Cucamonga California 180,031
150 Salem Oregon 179,944
151 Providence Rhode Island 178,901
152 Eugene Oregon 178,329
153 Elk Grove California 177,406
154 Santa Rosa California 177,132
155 Newport News Virginia 177,064
156 Pembroke Pines Florida 177,058
157 Oceanside California 176,950
158 Cary North Carolina 175,102
159 Fort Collins Colorado 172,862
160 Corona California 171,213
161 Garden Grove California 170,328
162 Springfield Missouri 169,552
163 Alexandria Virginia 165,748
164 Bayamon Puerto Rico 165,383
165 Clarksville Tennessee 164,496
166 Enterprise Nevada 164,314
167 Hayward California 161,314
168 Jackson Mississippi 160,080
169 Lakewood Colorado 158,660
170 Lancaster California 158,627
171 Hollywood Florida 158,239
172 Palmdale California 156,299
173 Salinas California 155,619
174 Springfield Massachusetts 155,472
175 Bellevue Washington 154,647
176 Killeen Texas 153,973
177 Kansas City Kansas 153,600
178 Macon County Georgia 152,519
179 Sunnyvale California 152,427
180 Pomona California 152,405
181 Escondido California 152,245
182 Pasadena Texas 151,891
183 Murfreesboro Tennessee 151,066
184 Naperville Illinois 149,196
185 Joliet Illinois 148,227
186 Paterson New Jersey 145,871
187 Savannah Georgia 145,754
188 Rockford Illinois 145,020
189 Midland Texas 145,012
190 McAllen Texas 144,279
191 Waco Texas 144,015
192 Roseville California 143,921
193 Torrance California 143,912
194 Thornton Colorado 143,890
195 Metairie Louisiana 143,481
196 Miramar Florida 143,219
197 Bridgeport Connecticut 143,010
198 Olathe Kansas 142,841
199 Denton Texas 142,173
200 Surprise Arizona 142,049

Act now, we’re limited to only five inscriptions per city!

(Disclaimer.  This is obviously a joke at the expense of idiots.  However if you would like to contribute to keeping me in a position to continue creating new work, you can find out more about how to do so here.  Thanks!)

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Butch Whitey
4 years ago

I am a dirty, dirty antifa.

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